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The White Hat Melbourne Newsletter
Archived
Newsletter No.309 - 23rd April 2009
Contents
This Sunday is Dutch Orange Day at Freshwater Place. Here you will find all manner of Dutchies dressed in silly costumes and doing silly things and celebrating being Dutch. Now, I don’t want to be racist, but the real problem with the Dutch is that you can’t laugh at them because they’ve already laughed at themselves first. Maybe that’s why they’ve integrated so quietly and seamlessly into Australia. Details at Ethnic Festivals in Melbourne.
The Comedy Festival ends this weekend so this is your last chance to catch a performance or two. Details at The White Hat Guide to Comedy in Melbourne.
The festival kicks off this weekend. Details at The White Hat Guide to Jazz in Melbourne.
Actually we’re not sure whether the Batman Park Kinder Fete is international but it seems safest to use the word because every other festival in Melbourne claims to be. Details at The White Hat Guide to Fairs & Fetes in Melbourne.
Saturday is Anzac Day. This is proclaimed as a restricted trading day until 1pm, Most businesses will be closed except for those proclaimed as 'exempt' which includes farmers' markets. The traditional Anzac parade will make its way up Swanston Street and St Kilda Road to the Shrine. After the parade the bystanders will make their way onto the streets in the general melee. Several years ago we watched this melee as two young teenage girls, obviously bestest-bestest friends ran through the crowd - one draped in an Australian flag and the other in a Turkish flag. I will probably attend the dawn service and then think of the deeds of our local Melbourne Engineer & General - Sir John Monash. I will also think of the words of Johnny Turk, or more precisely, Atatürk. "Those heroes that shed their blood and lost their lives... You are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore rest in peace. There is no difference between the Johnnies and the Mehmets to us where they lie side by side now here in this country of ours... you, the mothers, who sent their sons from faraway countries wipe away your tears; your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land. They have become our sons as well."
When you walk up Sydney Road, see if you can spot the sculpture of Johnny Turk offering a flask of water to the enemy Anzac.
To our question about an exotic dancer in last week’s newsletter we received the following response: “Buenas dios White Hat,
I'm appalled that you would believe such scurrilous gossip about Donna Lola (Dolores) Montez and her Andulusian dance spectacular. We're talking here about Eliza Gilbert, the Countess Landsfeldt who, among her other activities, helped incite one of the first (known) student insurrections in Bavaria 1848. Plus, she may even have indirectly inspired those Eureka chartists to achieve their civil rights in 1854. Despite what ever else you might have heard, that's why the miners threw gold nuggets on the stage when Lola performed here in Victoria in 1855/56... not just because they wanted to ogle her lack of underwear or indeed, her ankles.
Fran” “Hello Mr/s white hat
Is it just my imagination or have you not been giving us the correct quiz answers lately? Whilst I enjoyed reading Dawn's responses, it would be more meaningful if you could also supply the correct answers....
Chris :)” “Hi White Hat Any chance of learning the REAL answers to the quiz please? Some questions have me fascinated.
Lulu”
Lulu, haven’t we met recently and in fact didn’t I insert a not-insubstantial banknote into your garter-belt. Or maybe that was Lola. Anyway we’ll see what we can do about those answers. In response to various of our readers’ suggestions about supporting the bushfire-effected regions, Karen wrote: “Super idea White Hat – but how about going one better? Go up to Kinglake, buy a trolley full of groceries from the local shops (or what you can afford) and then donate it to the community? Not sure who could co-ordinate the give-away part, but I am sure someone up at Kinglake would be happy to? Seems like a win ... win ... win situation to me!
Karen” “Your presentation on the horrific bushfires over the last few issues has been respectful, human, informative, relevant and discreet. People stuff can really hurt. The mainstream media could learn from you. I’ve offered my services in publicity, project management and financial control, but am still waiting for a reply. I can help publicise a disparate bunch of White Hat volunteers if you or your readers want. No wit, just a warm inner sadness (true).
Lawrie”
We recently received a press release proclaiming “It’s that time of year when we all yearn for the smell of roasting chestnuts.” Well in Australia, no, we don’t but maybe if the advertising company keeps saying it often enough maybe we will. Even though you may not feel a deep inner yearning for them as yet, why not head up to the Dandenongs the following weekend for the annual Chestnut Festival. Details at The White Hat Guide to Nuts.
“Johnny, remember when I gave you the lowdown on selling water to the kids? Well I’ve get an even better one.”
“Lenny. Da water scam was brilliant. Ship water half way round da world and da No-Logo generation will buy it as long as it’s got a logo on it and drink it while preaching to their parents about food miles. Dat was a winner Lennie and all you had to tell ‘em was dat it had no artificial additives. Brilliant!”
“Well Johnny, I’ve got a better one! We sell them water but with artificial additives.”
“Dey’ll never buy it Lennie.”
“Yes they will Johnny. We’ll call it ‘water with smart stuff added’”.
“Dey’ll never buy it Lennie – dey are de most media savvy generation in de history of da world.”
“Trust me on this one Johnny – they’ll buy it.”
The only extensive book about Flinders Street Station is about to be released, entitled Beyond the Facade: Flinders Street, more than just a railway station. A Media Launch (by invitation only) is being sponsored by Connex on Monday 4 May upstairs in the station. This will be followed by a book signing, photographic display and Devonshire tea in the Victorian Railways Institute (VRI) Office, on the Ground Floor, Flinders Street Station. The VRI Office was originally the luggage room and its architecture is essentially intact with high, pressed metal ceilings and lead light windows. The photographic display will continue all week. Books will be available for purchase from the VRI Office, as well as Information Victoria, The Railfan Shop, Hill of Content and Readings in Carlton. For further details, contact the author, Jenny Davies jenny.davies7@bigpond.com or on (03) 5426-3118
“There’s a special event at the Melbourne Poets Union,” said Damien. “I thought you might like to come.”
“I rang last night,” said Sarah “and you didn’t answer your phone.”
“I was out.” said Damien. “I sent you an email about the Poets Union event.”
“I read it. I couldn’t go. There’s no apostrophe in Poets Union and they call themselves poets.”
“Well, maybe they think of themselves as a union of poets rather than a union that’s owned by poets and therefore don’t feel the need for the possessive apostrophe. Sometimes, Sarah, I think you can be too obsessed about being possessive.”
“Not at all, Damien. I just want things to be correct. Where were you last night?” Details of the Melbourne Poets Union event can be found at The White Hat Guide to Lectures and Forums in Melbourne.
Several readers have requested the ‘real’ answers to a previous quiz about communications. We don’t know the correct answers – why else would we ask the questions. However here is our attempt.
| Please note: This section of the newsletter has been
removed as it forms part of a forthcoming publication or because it
is forms part of our
Questing activities. If you find yourself on a tour where the
guide is White Hat Accredited they are likely to know the answer to
many questions you may have in this area. All guides on
White Hat Tours are White Hat
Accredited. |
This week there is a performance of Purcell’s Dido & Aeneas, Sunwrae continue their Australian tour with performances at Montsalvat & Wodonga, the Melbourne Chamber Orchestra perform Bach & Mozart and the following weekend there is a choral festival at Montsalvat. Details at The White Hat Guide to Classical Music in Melbourne.
This weekend is the PromCoast Seachange Festival. If you are thinking of a seachange just check the state of your super funds in the current economic climate before signing anything. Details at The White Hat Guide to South Gippsland. There is also the Echuca Country Music festival. Details at The White Hat Guide to Country Music in Victoria. The following weekend there is the Grampians Grape Escape. Details at The White Hat Guide to The Grampians.
First to last week’s quiz on Australian musicals and opera. Our first response came from V. T. “Dear White Hat, Thank you for your weekly quiz. I find it much more useful than the one I did for citizenship and each week I go away and find the answers and when my children are old enough I will make sure they do so as well.
| Please note: This section of the newsletter has been
removed as it forms part of a forthcoming publication or because it
is forms part of our
Questing activities. If you find yourself on a tour where the
guide is White Hat Accredited they are likely to know the answer to
many questions you may have in this area. All guides on
White Hat Tours are White Hat
Accredited. |
Yours with respect,
V. T.”
Now to this week’s quiz. Dutch Orange Day Quiz - Near the coast of Western Australia you will find William Dampier Island and Dirk Hartog Island named after the respective European explorers. Where were they born and who was there first?
- In the early days of European exploration part of Australia was referred to as Terra Australis and part was referred to as New Holland. Which was which?
- A commodity associated with Holland once caused a global economic turmoil similar to the sub-prime mortgage crisis. What was this commodity?
- Van Diemen’s Land was once the name of part Australia and was named after a Governor of the Dutch East Indies. Fortunately we have renamed it to get rid of any reference to the Dutchies – or does it?
- Colonisation leaves its legacies and many ex-colonies still maintain the language of the colonists’ as a primary or secondary language. Name some ex-colonial neighbours of Australia that have as a primary or secondary language a) French, b) Portuguese c) Spanish d) Dutch
- Australia is still debating whether to become a republic. When did the Netherlands become a republic? When did they become a monarchy?
- Diagonally opposite the Queen Victoria Market you will see a building labelled Loyal Orange House. What does its name mean?
- The Dutch are basically a staid, conservative, hard-working, self-effacing bunch. Who on earth could they laugh at for having these qualities even moreso than themselves?
- In Melbourne’s recent past a Dutch backpacker was walking through the city and became aware of a violent confrontation. Being from a staid, conservative, hard-working, self-effacing culture he will say “it’s not up to me to help, this is someone else’s problem” and stay well clear. Or will he?
- If the Dutch had arrived in Australia 10,000 years ago there would now be no Bass Strait. Why?
No prizes – just glory and a warm inner glow.
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